willpower

willpower.
if there is anything that i yearn for in my life
it is definitely willpower
reality world unlike manga
require me to do some efforts to excel

 i always envy
those who read,
those who study,
those who work,
because a lazy dork i am
never have a willpower to do those
reasons?
i have been training this body
to become an uber-lazy man for 19 long years
and suddenly i want to morph into a,
not hardworking just normal person
but it seems impossible
whenever i try to do something
i revert to my old self
a self-absorbed, with mild superior complex person
and laziness as its main attribute
in the state i am right now
it is just plain impossible to do it in one day
i have to de-training myself from my old regime
and training a ferocious one on top of it
it is pure impossible in one day
but i am not given a day
i'm given all the time i have in my life to change
maybe even i can change
little by little
and become somebody who i always envied on
even if my heart stops before i achieve my dream
at least i can smile proudly and said
"i have tried my best"

ok this whole post surely sounds pure fiction
kahkahkah

i do have a burning passion and willpower
but the place i use them on
is what makes idiot as my midlle name
kahkahkah

i sure do have a lot of middle name
and the list just go on and on
kahkahkah

p/s: mind the grammar. it has been like 200 years long since i write in english
ok that is utter nonsense
kahkahkah